Preacher Boutros was sitting in the market-place one afternoon when he saw a fight break out between three merchants. Going over to investigate, he asked:
"Are you not ashamed to skirmish in the dust in this way?"
The three men stopped fighting, straightened thier clothes and explained:
"We pooled our money and bought eighteen cattle. One of us paid half the price, one of us a third, and the last paid a ninth of the total price. Now that we come to divide the animals, we find that we cannot decide how many we each own. And we do not want to cut up the animals."
"I could decide this for you," replied the Preacher, "but each of you will have to give me a reward."
"You won't start cutting our cattle?", said the tense men,
"That will not be necessary." reassured the Preacher.
"Very well," agreed the merchants, "you may have a reward if you can solve the problem."
Lining the men and the cattle up in front of him, Boutros began.
"You," he said to the first man, "paid half the price: nine of the cattle are yours. "You,", he told the second man, "paid a third of the amount: take six cattle. You," he said to the third man, "are owed two cattle for your contribution of the one-ninth of the sum. Which leaves one goat for me."
And taking his reward he walked off.
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
The Musings of the preacher Boutros...
Different Paths
"You are a great mystic" said one of Boutros' pupils. "Surely you will know why men take different paths through life instead of all following the one true path."
"Simple," replied his teacher. "If everyone followed the same path, we would all end up in the same place, the balance of the world would be tipped, and we would all be thrown into the ocean."
Poor Conditions
When the Bishop visited P. Boutros' new house, he looked at the cramped dwelling and remarked:
"You live in a very poor condition, it is true, but do not despair. The meek are rewarded in death, and you will go to a place where you will live in splendour such as you have not known in this world."
"That is all very well", replied Boutros, "but what am I to do with a luxurious grave?"
The Repentant Thief
While preacher Boutros was attending Mass at the city cathedral, a thief made off with his saddle-bags. When he complained to the Bishop, he was told:
"A true believer would have had a few holy sayings from the Bible in his bag, and the thief, seeing these, would have immediately repented."
"How strange it is that he did not" said the irate Preacher, "for I had the whole Bible in my bag!"
Sent by God
Preacher Boutros was sitting by the sea when a wave washed over him and swept away his shoes.
"That wave was sent by God" said the bystander.
"God, God!" ranted Boutros seething with anger, "I would take Him to court for the loss of my shoes, but the judge would probably find in His favour."
Sinner for Dinner
Preacher Boutros was visiting an old friend during the fasting days of Lent. At dinner, his host's wife set a roast goose on the table. She and her husband then served themselves large portions and began to eat greedily. Realising that he was not about to be offered a plate, Boutros ripped a leg from the roast and took an enourmous bite.
"Preacher," apologised his host, "we assumed that as a believer you would be fasting."
"For food which tickles the palate like this, I am willing to descend to your level temporarily."
"You are a great mystic" said one of Boutros' pupils. "Surely you will know why men take different paths through life instead of all following the one true path."
"Simple," replied his teacher. "If everyone followed the same path, we would all end up in the same place, the balance of the world would be tipped, and we would all be thrown into the ocean."
Poor Conditions
When the Bishop visited P. Boutros' new house, he looked at the cramped dwelling and remarked:
"You live in a very poor condition, it is true, but do not despair. The meek are rewarded in death, and you will go to a place where you will live in splendour such as you have not known in this world."
"That is all very well", replied Boutros, "but what am I to do with a luxurious grave?"
The Repentant Thief
While preacher Boutros was attending Mass at the city cathedral, a thief made off with his saddle-bags. When he complained to the Bishop, he was told:
"A true believer would have had a few holy sayings from the Bible in his bag, and the thief, seeing these, would have immediately repented."
"How strange it is that he did not" said the irate Preacher, "for I had the whole Bible in my bag!"
Sent by God
Preacher Boutros was sitting by the sea when a wave washed over him and swept away his shoes.
"That wave was sent by God" said the bystander.
"God, God!" ranted Boutros seething with anger, "I would take Him to court for the loss of my shoes, but the judge would probably find in His favour."
Sinner for Dinner
Preacher Boutros was visiting an old friend during the fasting days of Lent. At dinner, his host's wife set a roast goose on the table. She and her husband then served themselves large portions and began to eat greedily. Realising that he was not about to be offered a plate, Boutros ripped a leg from the roast and took an enourmous bite.
"Preacher," apologised his host, "we assumed that as a believer you would be fasting."
"For food which tickles the palate like this, I am willing to descend to your level temporarily."
The Wanderings of the preacher Boutros...At the Princely Table
Preacher Boutros briefly held the position of the Chief Astronomer at the court of Prince Vlad Tepes. One evening at the princely table Boutros was asked to carve the pheasant. Obligingly he rose and began to serve the other diners. The head he offered to the Prince saying: "You are our leader and the head of your family."
The wings he gave to the Court treasuer: "Your embezzlement will be discovered and you will soon take flight."
The feet he gave to the commander of the army with the words "You will soon march into battle."
The neck he gave to the Chief Minister saying: "Your own neck will one day be broken by the hangman's noose."
The rest of the bird he put on his own plate saying: "What remains is mine because I have carved so well."
The wings he gave to the Court treasuer: "Your embezzlement will be discovered and you will soon take flight."
The feet he gave to the commander of the army with the words "You will soon march into battle."
The neck he gave to the Chief Minister saying: "Your own neck will one day be broken by the hangman's noose."
The rest of the bird he put on his own plate saying: "What remains is mine because I have carved so well."
The Wanderings of preacher Boutros...How Only Some Things Change...
P. Boutros and a rich nobleman were riding through the dizzying heights and valleys of Carpathia.
"Is it not so that God rewards riches with riches?" said the nobleman to the preacher. "Look at my ravishing riding boots made with the best leather money can buy, and your holed and tattered clogs. Look at my jewelled crown, and the rags you wear wrapped around your head. Look at my silk coat with handcrafted buttons and gold thread, and the patched sack that hangs from your bony shoulders. Here we two are: you with a few measly possessions in your moth-eaten saddlebags, I with spices that will make princes and kings weep with pleasure. And yet, we can ride together through this place, I mounted on an Andalucian stallion, you scrabbling on the path on a silly little donkey..."
At that moment the nobleman's musings were interrupted by the arrival of the of a band of brigands, who yanked him from the saddle, kicked and beat him to the ground and rode off with his cargo and mount.
"How extraordinary it is" mused Boutros, "that my circumstances have not seemed to change, but yours are dramatically altered in the space of a few minutes."
"Is it not so that God rewards riches with riches?" said the nobleman to the preacher. "Look at my ravishing riding boots made with the best leather money can buy, and your holed and tattered clogs. Look at my jewelled crown, and the rags you wear wrapped around your head. Look at my silk coat with handcrafted buttons and gold thread, and the patched sack that hangs from your bony shoulders. Here we two are: you with a few measly possessions in your moth-eaten saddlebags, I with spices that will make princes and kings weep with pleasure. And yet, we can ride together through this place, I mounted on an Andalucian stallion, you scrabbling on the path on a silly little donkey..."
At that moment the nobleman's musings were interrupted by the arrival of the of a band of brigands, who yanked him from the saddle, kicked and beat him to the ground and rode off with his cargo and mount.
"How extraordinary it is" mused Boutros, "that my circumstances have not seemed to change, but yours are dramatically altered in the space of a few minutes."
Wanderings of the preacher Boutros...In Credit to God
Hungry, P. Boutros went to the town square to sell his few remaining possessions. An unscrupulous merchant took the collection of household items and said:
"Come back for your money tomorrow, as I have none on me at the moment."
He refused to pay despite P. Boutros's feeble pleas. So staggering home past the market stalls, the preacher came across a baker's shop. With his last ounce of strength, he grabbed three pies and made off with them. Sitting in an alleyway he quickly ate the pastries.
"Oh merciful Lord", he cried as he finished the last pie and licked his fingers, "I am not a thief. I have simply borrowed these pies from the baker. as this is the case, please see that the baker's money is taken out of that owed to me by the merchant who borrowed my pots and pans. I dislike being in debt to any man!"
"Come back for your money tomorrow, as I have none on me at the moment."
He refused to pay despite P. Boutros's feeble pleas. So staggering home past the market stalls, the preacher came across a baker's shop. With his last ounce of strength, he grabbed three pies and made off with them. Sitting in an alleyway he quickly ate the pastries.
"Oh merciful Lord", he cried as he finished the last pie and licked his fingers, "I am not a thief. I have simply borrowed these pies from the baker. as this is the case, please see that the baker's money is taken out of that owed to me by the merchant who borrowed my pots and pans. I dislike being in debt to any man!"
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